So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
