Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
