We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize