I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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