I wish i was in the wii world.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
