Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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