Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
