I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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