WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize