i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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