I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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