rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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