I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
