Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
