I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize