who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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