Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize