So drunk its hurt
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
