she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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