it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
