You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
