It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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