ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
