they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
