yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
