Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
