He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
