I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
