His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
