why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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