Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
