I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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