Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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