8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
