Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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