Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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