Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
