don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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