There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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