I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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