Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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