That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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