It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
