well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
