i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
