We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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