he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
