i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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