you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
