what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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