did you get engaged???
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
