I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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