Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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