hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
