I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
