Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
