Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
