the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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