So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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