Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
