Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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