I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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