My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need water and some morals
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
