Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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