But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
