Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
