Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize