we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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