No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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