i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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