i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
