Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
